General Carnage and Bloodshed – Page 4

Imperialistic house of prayer…..Conquistadores who took their share

So as the new year begins it’s spin up and the year that was 2008 lurches to it’s final moments lets take a look back and forward at some things….
Looking Back….

Well the economy isn’t totally screwed up… it’s completely fucked up, which makes one wonder how long it will take to get back to doing what economies do?

The Cardinals made the Playoffs and win the NFC West… Miracles do happen

The Light Rail Opened in Valley on time, on budget, and with no deaths. Remember kids the Light Rail always has the right of way.

A couple of births… you know future Cardinals fans in the making (wait you will see 😀 )

And someone finally has a light at the end of the tunnel! Though it could be a oncoming light rail because he ran a redlight and didn’t see the Light Rail warning signal.

Looking Forward to 2009…

The Cardinals win their Wild Card game against the Falcons, Goto New York and win in a last second 50 yard field goal with the ball going into the win. Sales of Neil Rackers Jerseys go through the roof… once again I’m ahead of the curve.

In a upset at the AFC title the San Diego Chargers beat the Pittsburg Steelers after Ben Rothelsburger gets distracted by his rumored new girlfriend in the stands Jessica Simpson.

The Suns will lose to the Spurs in the playoffs for the third year in a row….

The Phoenix Metro area will discover that they didn’t plan on one thing when building the new light rail Snowbirds pay the $2.50 for a all day pass and ride the train back and forth all day long because they have nothing better to do. Commuters to downtown Phoenix never use the Light Rail again.

And I finally find happiness with a cell phone… not so much with my love life though.

Letters to Santa…

It’s that time of year again… when lots and lots of snow flakes fall and we all bundle up against whatever cold has come our way.

So in the spirit of the Season, I now present to you “Letters to Santa if he answered them honestly…”

——————————————————————————————–

Deer Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I’v ben a gud boy
all yeer.

Yer Friend, Billy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You’re on your way to a career
in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and
spell? I’m giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can
spell.

Santa

*****************************************************

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only
thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you,
didn’t they?

Santa

****************************************************

Dear Santa,
I don’t know if you can do this, but for
Christmas, I’d like for my mommy and daddy to get back together.
Please see what you can do.

Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad’s banging the babysitter like a
screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he’s gonna give that up to
come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It’s time
to give up that dream.

Let me send you some Legos instead.

Santa

****************************************************

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train,
some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.

Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid “Francis” nowadays? I bet
you’re gay. I’ll set you up with a Barbie.

Santa

****************************************************

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree,
and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the sh!ts and carrots make the
deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a
favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.

Santa

****************************************************

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year?
Are you busy making toys?

Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China . I have a condo
in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I
unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the a$$es of cocktail
waitresses while losing money at the craps table.

Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa

****************************************************

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we’re sleeping, do you really
know when we’re awake, like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in
whatever you do. I’m skipping your house.

Santa

****************************************************

Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year. Please,
please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?

Love, Timmy

Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your
folks, but that crap doesn’t work with me.

You’re getting a sweater again.

Santa

****************************************************

Dearest Santa,
We don’t have a chimney in our house. How do
you get into our home?

Love, Marky

Dear Mark,
First stop callling yourself “Marky”, that’s why
you’re getting your a$$ whipped at school. Second, you don’t live in a
house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside
your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.

Sweet dreams,
Santa

Choose your targets wisley….

Consider this post something of a PSA… remember kids if your going to pick on people at work be prepared for hell as paybacks…

As evidenced by these pictures of my office… also I was away from my desk for all of 45 minutes.

Turning left, it’s not just for nascar anymore…

So I’m in the final evening of a two week vacation where I have been red necking it up the entire time. I started with Deer hunting for 10 days in Kingman, came back to Phoenix, and then did 5 days at Phoenix International Raceway to watch cars turn left.

So what is the net result of this vacation?

1. When dad says get the gun don’t stop by the tire to rack up the shell in the rifle.

2. The Blackberry Pearl is a excellent email and text machine, and in a pinch it’s a decent mobile Internet reader (just don’t expect much)

3. I would really like to goto a Sprint Cup Race and have someone other then Jimmie Johnson I don’t know maybe someone like this guy hell even this guy I’m not picky just someone other then Jimmie Johnson.

4. When I spend a hour at Best Buy and a 2 hours at Fry’s Electronics because it’s a Wendsday and just because I can it’s a sign that I may need to unplug.

5. Additonal sign I may need to unplug… I seriously thought about buying a second wireless router (Draft 802.11N/802.11G/802.11A) just so I could have Wireless A/N in my house for the Laptop and Xbox.

6. Spending the better part of Wednesday night and Thursday morning trying to justify to my self that the second wireless router was a good idea.

Yes folks somethings just don’t change.

And if only that deer had gone left…

And I won’t back down….

So I’ve been working with the dual blog setup for about a month and half now and while there are somethings that I really like about this wordpress blog there aren’t enough things to make me switch from blogger to my own personal Idaho of a blog.

What was the killer? The post by email is what pretty much killed it for me. One of my favorite things to do with my blog is post pictures from my blackberry. It’s not huge, but for me it’s a killer app that I don’t have here.

Also the first upgrade of the back end while not a huge deal made a few changes that I just don’t like at first blush. I’m sure if I give them time I will like them though.

What now? I will keep this blog up and get the whole email thing worked out at some point. It may be handy for certain expectant mothers in Colorado to keep an eye on this blog since this could be almost called “tom unfiltered”. I know what your thinking how could I become any more unfiltered?

Easy… full knowledge that people check this site infrequently. I do have google analytics setup so I know if you’ve been by or not.

And I now return you to your reguraly scheduled garbage.

Stiff upper lip…. and I shoot from the hip

So this is the firs somewhat serious attempt to fork rollingskull.blogspot.com and rollingskull.com from one another. I’m still undecided as to what I will do with both blogs. There are a few features of the word-press setup that I haven’t been able to get working and I’m chalking most of that up to a lack of SSL support for godaddy and my choice of google as the email service for this domain. Though truth be told it’s not that big of a move to get the email routed back to a godaddy server and try the whole post by email thing. There are a few other things too, but they are mainly related to how google does things and I don’t know if I would know the difference if I hadn’t been using blogger for the last 4 odd years.

Of course some of it may have something to do with the fact that I’m anal-retentive and refuse to give up any functionality for another piece of functionality. Look at the bright side at least I’m not on live journal where no one would ever find this drivel.

So there is someplace to start. Why I’ve always called this blog of mine “drivel” I think a certain portion of it is self loathing we all have it some more then others. I think I also do it as a check against myself to make sure I don’t start to let things go to my head. Yes I know I’m just a I.T. guy, but it’s very easy for me to let things go straight to the old noggin. This attitude has also followed me into other parts of my life and has given me a decidedly darker approach to alot of things (life and the belief that the absolute worst thing will always happen) and a much lighter approach to other things (i.e. some one dying is not a big deal) it may also have something to do with the fact that I’ve tended to hang around weirder folks at my various places of work.

I chalk up alot of the things in my life in my choices. And most all of my choices tend to be of the variety where it’s me doing whatever it is I’m doing and not caring what anyone else does. I think this was best demonstrated when I was working in the hospital in Kingman and Mike asked me “So do you have any friends that you consider your best buddies and did everything with?” and my response was something along the lines of “Nope, always have been more of a loner.” That was 2002 and I think it colored my time at Kingman Regional more then anything else.

You know I had elk for dinner and several Fat Tires and I’m feeling really good. Like drunk Tom posting good, but you know what I’m going to end this now before I say something that I regret.

A public service and christmas message all in one…

Got kids? Going to be having kids? Have a couple of 20 somethings that hang out like they were your kids?

You need to read the following article on Wired.

Merry Christmas / Festivus for the rest of us!

Many times I’ve wondered how much there is to know…

In France the “Full Time” work week is 32 hours…. that means that the average French man has a 3 day weekend every week.

When one is spolied like that I think they may lose sight of just how great a 3 day weekend truly is. I’m pretty sure that is why we Americans like to pick on the French so much. All I know is I get 3 guranteed 3 day weekends a year. I may take a day off on my birthday and other then that I’m not really one for taking much time off. So when I take a 3 day weekend for no reason other then I worked a Saturday and I’m taking the time that is due me from work it is a glorious weekend indeed.

This weekend has been made all the sweeter by the following items…

1. Super Mario Galaxy; when your old 8 bit friends come back afte a 10 year hiatus…. it’s been a good year for us old school Nintendo gamers; Link, Samus, and now Mario (strangely Luigi is hinted at but is not to be found as of yet)

2. What can only be desctibed as one of the best Saturday’s ever…. 5 gallons of beer in the fermenter, a exceptionally good time at Rula Bula, and perfect weather for both events.

3. The Cardinals hitting 5-5 on the season and the playoffs being more then just a distant dream (hell at this point a winning-ish or .500 season would be good).

Oh yeah a good Nascar race to end the season and Elk for dinner.

Yep our French breatheren may get a 3 day weekend most every weekend, but we americans truly appreciate it.

And they gave no quarter…

A few observations from laying on my couch all weekend due some weird combination of what I think is a ear infection and a head cold… I think they are related but I’m not totally for sure, it would be a first for me if they were.

– Dennis Green has been cropped into those Coors Light commercials hawking 24 packs of Coors Light with tickets to the Super Bowl. I find this to be a unique choice to say the least on the part of the people from Coors.

– Remember when there really only two trucks and those “other” guys? No? Me neither… I’ve seen enough truck commercials this weekend to drive me up the wall. My favorite one? The Tacoma commercial. Why? Because I only saw it once! (And bull shit a F150 can stop a C-130)

– John Norris is still on MTV… again I was laid on my couch and surfing… I was bound to catch it sooner or later.

-Football, whoo hoo! Now it’s time for Tom’s totally meaningless picks 2007….

Team most likely to disappoint me for the 8th year in a row… Cardinals
Team I follow most likely to actually do something… Chargers
Team I follow mostly to piss off Clint…. Chargers / Broncos
Team that is going to win it all… Not the Cardinals, and not the Chiefs.

There you have it kids… musings of a sick man. But I did finally figure out John Madden’s purpose in the football universe it’s to explain things in such simple terms that even someone with the attention span of a nat (like me this weekend) can understand.

Email Silliness…

Got a couple of email’s that I had to share;

First up Greg and his adventures with fast food…

From: Greg
To: Tom; Nathan; James; Scott; Victoria; Keith; Eric
Cc: ‘Tuffelmire’
Subject: McDonalds Southwest Chicken Sandwich

I had the same experience today…….Had to surf today to make sure my McDonalds Combo #5 was correct for $5.06

http://burningbuilding.blogspot.com/2007/06/mcdonalds-has-taken-its-latest-step-to.html

Luke said…

I hate MCDONALDS!!!! I went there yesterday for the first time in a few months because I didn’t have any food in the house and I was in a hurry. I drive up the the order thing and see this amazing looking Southwest Chicken Sandwich. I was strong enough to order just the sandwich. No 76oz of cola or a bag of potatoes stuffed inside a piece of cardboard, Just this amazing juicy looking southwest chicken sandwich. I was so hungry that I ripped open the paper and tooka huge STICKY DRY BITE!! There was nothing on this chicken sandwich. I swear to god it was a bun, a pickle, and a dry piece of fried chicken breast. I almost choked. My teeth were covered in rubbery bun. I wish I would have purchased the 76oz of cola.

June 28, 2007 1:52 PM