Category: Uncategorized

So a while back I talked about how my work gave everyone a free Costco Membership…

Well after several trips to Costco I have my musings about Costco…

Not everything needs to be in bulk… if you need to buy the 500 tablet bottle of Advil everytime you go to Costco… you should probally see a doctor or the Betty Ford clinic. Another great example is you can buy Condoms in bulk… OK if your going through that many condoms you need to…

1. Learn to keep it in your pants… seriously you have to be a walking VD

2. Cut down on the number of Ho’s you have…. 4 to 7 Ho’s to a pimp should be sufficent.

3. Get into porn if you like to fuck that much you might as well get paid to do it… and they supply the condoms

Come on folks A.j. won a year supply of condoms a while back and he got like 200 shit he was passing them out like candy…

OK yeah not a good thought their…

Muffins… Jumbo Muffins… Jumbo bulk muffins… OK pick either Jumbo or Bulk they can’t be both Jumbo or Bulk their is a reason why the waistband of america is expanding and it’s not the fine folks at Krispy Kreme.

Beer why can I only buy beer in a 24 pack? WARM?? If milk can be kept warm and bread can be fresh is it to much to ask that the beer be oh I don’t know COLD!

Ok that is enough of my musings I need to find some place to stash my 300 pack of toliet paper.

Wow… so I went to do a yum update on my Linux box which is currently running Cent OS 4.3 and it’s automagically upgrading to Cent OS 4.4!

Now I know this might not seem like a big deal to you but to me that is rather cool!

No CD to download just yum it and away you go.

So far my biggest complaint about CentOS is that there isn’t alot of stuff in their yum repo’s as compared to suse or fedora. But it does everything that I want it to do which is be my Linux server. OH and certain programs that are written for Linux I can’t seem to find dependicies that work… you know little things like PYTHON!

Speaking of which I haven’t talked about Linux in a while and my screwing around with Linux at home is finally starting to pay off in the work place (And Adam thought that is would never lead to anything).

Straight, no chaser.

Keeping up with the Alchol theme.

So Cody and I hit Mill tonight because… I was bored… and so was he. So we hit Mill. I learned a few very important things tonight.

1. If the pool hall your at has attendant in the bathroom your crossing over into pretentious territory.

2. If most of the people there look like they are out of a Abercrombie and Fitch catalog and they look like they shop their too your crossing over into pretentious territory.

3. If it’s $4 for a Corona and they are “out of Guiness” your crossing over into pretentious territory

You actually cross into pretentious territory with a combo of any two items above. Cody and I hit the jackpot we got all 3!

Remember folks it’s just a pool hall not a dance club.

And now you will know the power of this fully enabled spam station!

Ok maybe not… maybe it’s more like I finally got the whole picture from cell phone to blog thing to work. granted if I send one in the middle of the day your going to get a bunch of crap my cell carrier but that is why I edit and carry on.

Edit and carry on people.

Ok so I’ve finally caught up with the rest of the country and have seen Pirates 2…. I got to say I wasn’t as nearly as pleased with this one as I was with the first.  So I will now list for you my problems with Pirates 2. 

1. Orlando Bloom…. Shut up elf… No one wants to hear you talk in what really sounds like a fake English accent. 

2. Kiera Knightly… There was not nearly enough Kiera in this movie.  Now I realize it’s Disney and so it’s supposed to "family friendly"  but come on guys… When was the last time you saw a pirate movie where the heroine didn’t have ample cleavage?    Really?   OH and she looked like she was strung out on something the whole time.   Then again when I’ve seen pictures of her on the internet recently that is just how she looks so it’s probably pretty safe to assume that she’s strung out on something. 

3. Undead Monkey?  Well if it’s breathing isn’t it "Undead" I don’t know maybe I’m a little to sensitive this one.  Maybe if they described the monkey as "death impaired"…

"What do you have for me in trade?"

"We have this ‘death impaired’ monkey" BANG!

4. Limbs as oars….  Really… I know suspension of disbelief but come on guys every body knows that once a body has fully decomposed that the joints aren’t going to stay together especially when they are being used as oars and being dragged through the water like they were.

5. Davey Jones… OK I’m still trying to figure out how the crew has either humans or these weird human like hybrids… Only one person was how I truly expected them to be (Will Turner’s Father) I also was not happy with the lack of additional mollusk and other debris on the crew members.

And I thought Davey Jones was a spirit… Not a squid like person.

6. The flying Dutchman… Wait this ship is bringing harm to the people that encounter it?   What the hell I thought running into the flying Dutchman was a sign of good luck and fortune

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Dutchman

OK the Wikipedia doesn’t say anything about that so never mind….

Oh and getting back to crustaceans… Why wasn’t the flying Dutchman covered in them?

7. Plot Lines…. This movie had more plot lines then this post has gripes.  Actually the Ninja from askaninja.com had it right… If you had a part in this movie you had a plot line.  Think about he’s right…

The leg had a plot line
The Hat had a plot line
The Cracken had a plot line
The dress had a plot line
Every ship had a plot line
 
See pretty much everything had a plot line. 

So that is my take on the movie "Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest"   Now if I only kind of liked this move imagine what I would have wrote if I really didn’t like it.

Turns out Curtis’s threshold is only slightly higher then mine.

We are now moving on to Chappelle’s

Chappelle’s show makes me want to keep cable.

I’m watching the girls nextdoor with Curtis…

Normally you have to pay $12.95 a hour for this crap. It’s almost enough to make me drop cable completly to keep my brains continue to bleed out my ears.

Know the followign things…..

1. If your going to a game in the new cardinals staduim sho3w up 3 hours early and come from the north.

3. 10 beers (2 of which are 40oz) and footbsall is nott a good mix.

This is the closeset to a drunk blog that you all will get for a very long time.

Tonight’s entry is being brought to you by a good self cooked dinner and the realization that you all (all 3.2 of you) have gone far to long with out being blessed by my cosmic bullshit. So tonight and tonight only you get not one, not two, but THREE!!!!11!!!1!11!1! Entries for the clickage of one entry!

Lets take a trip shall we….

I am Jack’s Inner Ass kicker….

I got the new Ikea catalog last week… I know sad, hold on it gets worse. I opened it up and was looking through it and found a couch that would go very nicely in my back room. Fold out and the whole bit so Dorkus wouldn’t have to sleep on a air mattress. Now when this thought flashed across my brain it was immediately followed by “Do you own your stuff, or does your stuff own you” which if you’ve seen “Fight Club” as much as I have you understand where that line came from. I don’t know if I’m two steps away from space monkeys or not. I do know that we should all be very worried if I start missing my 10 PM bed time and seemingly start going all over the country.

Like a hamster on a wheel…

So I’ve finally gotten off of my ass and gone back to the gym. Yep I’m actually partaking in physical activity. Now those of you who have been long time readers (and therefore friends for a long while) will remember that I frequented the gym in Kingman on a regular basis. For all the fucking good it did me. This time I will follow the food plan (read as diet) and actually go!

I suspect I will have fallen off of the wagon in 2 or 3 weeks. More bitching to follow stay tuned to this cespool for additional updates.

Though I have to admit the eating every two hours thing works rather nicely for me.

I have to apologize…..

Ok I’ve been proven wrong… no I don’t have a girlfriend. If that were the case I would be proven wrong a lot more then once a year.

I was watching the movie “Underworld” today on TNT. I was surprised it was actually pretty good. It also reaffirmed my infatuation with brunettes in leather and being very gothic.

So yeah go rent Underworld… and I suspect that it’s sequel “Underword:Evolution” is either as gothtastic as the first or far surpasses it.

Keep watching….