Dear Wal-Mart,
I find that I often shop at your fine establishments where ever I may travel I know that I will always find the products that I need. Though they may be of questionable quality I always get what I pay for. However this letter is not about your quality of product or the quality of your employees.
Rather this letter is about the quality of your customers. I recently was shopping at your Wal-Mart Supercenter #205 (Kingman Az) and was treated rudely by more then a few of the customers. One female customer, who might add didn’t know where to find any of your reasonably priced personal hygiene products, cut in front of me at your automated check out. It was bad enough that I used to be belittled by the employees of Wal-Mart but now I’m belittled by the customers too? Where will it end?
I suggest you start somesort of customer appreciation program to teach customers how to be nicer to one another. And in the process maybe how to put on clean clothes, refrain from using their celluar phones in a inopportune manner, and proper hygiene and grooming for being out in public. Wal-Mart is the largest retailer in the world so I know you have the resources to do this program since you already pay your employees next to nothing and provide them with minimal or no health insurance.
However if you do find that the methods you currently have in place for customer training are not sufficient. Let me suggest a few more methods that might work for you a bit better.
1. Use the Wal-Mart TV network to send out a hypnotic pattern that will subliminally send a message to the customer. This is the most effective way to reach a good majority of your customers.
2. When ever I walk in to a Wal-Mart I always have a 1984/Soylent Green/Mind Fuck America feeling when I hear the over head annoucments. How about using the annoucments to train your customers
“Bathing is good”
“deodorant is not the work of the devil”
“Tube tops should not be worn by fat women”
3. Beat customers, inevitably you will have several customers where the first two methods do not work. I suggest you beat the resistors. That will bring them into alignment.
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter and I look forward to assiting you in your new customer training program.