Author: Tom Kern

The stone beneath my feet.

“More hay, Trigger?”
“No thanks Roy, I’m stuffed!”

Do not believe in miracles — rely on them


Those who don’t understand Linux are doomed to reinvent it, poorly. — unidentified source

‘Interesting how the Windows™ logo is a picture of a window deteriorating…

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents. – Nathaniel Borenstein


“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” Dave Barry


Free speech only goes so far until you need the right to bear arms.


The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink. — Fran Lebowitz, “Interview”


The world is coming to an end. Please log off.

You should make a point of trying every experience once — except incest and folk-dancing. — A. Bax, “Farewell My Youth”

“Some people shoot to kill, some people shoot to maim…they’re missing the point here. the point is you get to shoot somebody.” — Scott Kern “One night in August of 2004”

City by the sea….


Flashback to the summer of 2004…. Young Tom had just gotten involved with a little project at Kingman Regional called “PACS” he was playing Star Wars Galaxies way more then was healthy and his girlfriend had dumped him earlier that year because he didn’t want to join her during grad school rather choosing to build a life in Kingman and join her once she finished. That was in late January early Feburary.

It’s July 2004 the dark side of Catalina island. The first day of what would be 4 day stay on the dark side of Catalina. Young Tom is sitting under a palm tree drinking a Guinness Irish stout that he bought earlier in the day for $9.00 at the two harbors general store (which really amounted to highway robbery with sales tax). It’s late in the evening and Tom is talking with his friends Sabrina and Tim about “What makes you and adult?”

Among the ideas bandied about between the three while Tom drinks his Guinness while Sabrina and Tim drink something that involves rum are… a mortgage, children, car payments, thinking about retirement, and marriage… ultimately all rejected because one of us can name one person who has one of the above items but yet we considered them to be not adult. I barely considered myself an adult at the time I was 25 job, mortgage, and thinking about investing but honestly I still thought of myself as a kid.

Why were we drinking? Well that part is easy there were 7 adults and 6 kids. And someone was not having any part of the kids (his name rhymes with mom). Sadly the 6 Guinness wouldn’t make it through the night as I shared with Brandi and we were dry by the morning. It was a long 3 days after that.

Flash forward to 2007 young but slightly older Tom is sitting on his back porch thinking about his life. No girlfriend but friends he wouldn’t trade the world for and thinking to himself as Rage Against the Machine plays in the background (Renegades of funk) am I an adult? Young but slightly older Tom would say yes only because as he was grilling a steak earlier in the day walked through his grass and pulled up weeds.

Young but slightly older Tom doesn’t know if that makes him an adult but it makes him alot more like his father then he would would care to admit to.

The shape of things to come…

Driving home from work I saw a interesting sight. It was a repo truck for other cars and the license plate was “UBWALKN”. Great just what the world needs repo guys with a sense of humor. Next thing you know there will be bloggers out there talking about things like the license plate they saw on the drive home from work… oh wait….

So yeah…. about that those bloggers great people eh?

Ok time to move on. So with my moving from a Dell PDA back to Palm I’m once again free from the tryanny of Outlook (at home). I also have a PDA for sell if anyone is interested. Actually for the record just about everything I have is for sale. That is just the kind of guy that I am.

Anyway I’m free from Outlook since I’m only syncing my calendar with the Treo and can do that with Palm Desktop. Sweet I finally have a thrown free all of my bonds from the Windows Platform!

OH look a shackle with a large lock that’s got alot of gum in the key hole… oh yes gaming my Achilles heal.

/sigh

I have considered going back to Thunderbird but honestly I just don’t like it’s interface very much and I find it’s database system to be more susceptible to corruption then Outlook. I know Mr. Open Source likes a Microsoft product. Yeah I know let me turn in my geek cred badge at the door.

Then again when your into Linux you run into these type of things all of the time. You know the idealouges who want to a “perfect open source system” and the cold harsh reality of “the business world“

Hmmm maybe I need to find a woman who apperciates the term “free as in beer or free as in speech“

A letter…

Dear MR. Ronald D. Moore; Creator and Excecutive producer of the “New” Battlestar Galactica.

RE: Season 3 finale

From the desk of a fan:

Mr. Moore I just finshed watching the final episode of the third season of Battlestar Galactica. I have to say I was over all very immpressed.

Except for the last 45 seconds.

WHAT THE FUCK??!!

The golden / red / brown / black rule(s)

Uses for beer… other then drinking it.

26. STOP SNORING
If your log-sawing is ripping a hole in your marriage, try this simple remedy: Get a pocket T-shirt and a 6-ounce mini-can of beer. Put the can in the pocket and fasten it closed with a safety pin. Just before you go to bed, put the shirt on backward. Research shows that you’re more likely to snore when resting on your back. This little setup prevents you from rolling over. Plus, come morning, you won’t have to get out of bed for breakfast.

25. COOK RICE
Rinse 1 cup jasmine rice in water. Do it twice more, then drain well. Next, dump the rice into a medium-size pot and add 12 ounces of beer. (A nut-brown ale works well.) Bring the mixture to a boil, turn the heat to low, and cover the pot. Simmer for 20 minutes, then remove from the stove and cool for an additional 10 minutes. The rice won’t be lumpy, and it’ll have a nuttier flavor — just like you after you eat it.

13. FIND DUE NORTH
Okay, here’s the scenario. A bit far-fetched, we admit, but look who’s going to be our next president. Let’s say you’re hopelessly lost in the wilderness, and all you have is a can of beer, a sewing needle, a small bowl, and a pair of extra-large silk panties. (Because this is a matter of life and death, the camp counselor should give hers up.) First, open the beer, pour some into the bowl, and let it go flat. (Better drink the rest; this may not work.) Next, magnetize the needle by stroking it repeatedly in one direction with the panties. This will generate a charge of static electricity. Then float the needle in the beer. When it stops, it’ll be pointing in a north-south direction. Now get outta there!

12. KILL SLUGS
Gather a few empty salsa jars (or similar wide-mouth containers) and fill them a third of the way with cheap beer. Then bury them about 15 feet from your garden, girlfriend, or whatever you’re trying to protect. Make sure the rims are almost level with the soil surface. For some reason, slugs love beer. They’ll find the traps, drop in, and drown. Do this in the evening, let them party all night, and give them an honorable burial in the morning.

10. PASS A KIDNEY STONE
As you’ve undoubtedly noticed, beer is a diuretic. It helps flush the kidneys and bladder. This can be beneficial if you’re suffering from a bladder infection or kidney stone. “You can drink water or cranberry juice,” explains Dr. Alexander, “but beer also works. It helps dilate the ureters [the tubes connecting the kidneys and bladder], which may help you pass a stone quicker and easier. Plus, the alcohol will take the edge off the pain.” But don’t drink beer if you’re taking antibiotics or narcotic pain medications. You’ll render the drugs useless and make yourself sick.

7. LOOSEN RUSTY BOLTS
Pour some beer on them and wait a few minutes. The carbonation may help break up the rust.

2. PUT OUT A FIRE
Although certainly not as effective as a real fire extinguisher, a can or bottle of beer can mimic one if none is available. Simply shake and spritz. After all, beer is mostly water. This works on small grill flare-ups, and some people have been known to carry an emergency can in their car in case of engine fire. Or at least that’s what they tell the state troopers.

1. BATHE IN IT
Instead of sipping a beer, try soaking in it. Pour a bottle of German Badebier in the tub and lie back for a real bubble bath.

This blog entry is brought to you by a really good whiskey and the smoking lamp is off

This one is for the BSG nurds….

I’ve been watching Deep Space Nine on DVD starting with Season 1. Yes I know I’m a gluten for punishment. Anyway I’m a nurd… one of the things that I like to do is look up the actors from a series I’m watching and see what is written about them in the IMDB.

So I’m going through the Deep Space Nine entry from the IMDB and they have all of the executive producers listed. One of them is Ronald D. Moore, who we all know is the Executive Producer and Creator of the “New Battlestar Galactica“. But if you’ve watched DS9 before you already knew this (I did). What the hell I will go take a look at Ron Moore’s IMDB entry…

There is a trivia section and it had this comment…

“In the pilot episode of the fifth Star Trek series, “Enterprise”, a character was named after him. The farmer who shot the Klingon (Klaang) in the beginning of the episode was named Farmer “Moore”. This is not only homage to Ron’s reputation with klingons, but also his reputation for killing off characters.“

Well shit that explains a few things.

So of course this leads me to the Wikipedia entry for Ronald D. Moore where I learn that he was a producer on “Voyager” for a little bit in the Sixth season.

And a excerpt from the interview Moore did concerning Voyager after he left

“

Moore’s re-imagining of Galactica is noted for taking a more serious tone than its predecessor, something that was foreshadowed in the January 2000 for Cinescape interview, where he discussed what he saw as the root problem with Voyager.

“The premise has a lot of possibilities. Before it aired, I was at a convention in Pasadena, and Sternbach and Okuda were on stage, and they were answering questions from the audience about the new ship. It was all very technical, and they were talking about the fact that in the premise this ship was going to have problems. It wasn’t going to have unlimited sources of energy. It wasn’t going to have all the doodads of the Enterprise. It was going to be rougher, fending for themselves more, having to trade to get supplies that they want. That didn’t happen. It doesn’t happen at all, and it’s a lie to the audience. I think the audience intuitively knows when something is true and something is not true. Voyager is not true. If it were true, the ship would not look spic-and-span every week, after all these battles it goes through. How many times has the bridge been destroyed? How many shuttlecrafts have vanished, and another one just comes out of the oven? That kind of bullshitting the audience I think takes its toll. At some point the audience stops taking it seriously, because they know that this is not really the way this would happen. These people wouldn’t act like this.” “

Two things… this is why Ronald D. Moore is the man! And one of my biggest problems with Voyager.

Good night and good luck.

Play us a song young piano man…

Photographic evidence from trip #3 to Milwaukee…. went on “safari” in downtown Milwaukee on the River Walk with people from the class… Here are the highlights in pictures.

Here we have a picture of Dr. Franklin (this one is for Kristi and Matt) from a place called the “Safe House”. Interesting place… next time you see me have me talk about it. Other notables on the wall of Celebrity’s at this place. Anthony Daniels (C3PO) and two of the three “Lone Gunmen” (that one is for Curtis).


And because no trip is WI is complete with out some sort of cheese like product…..


And the last two were on the out side of this bar on the River Walk… Ironically I did not have Guinness instead I had Smithwicks.

The one where I feel a kinship with Cody

On a business/training trip to Milwaukee.. you know it’s not like I haven’t been here before but my god man couldn’t I go someplace different for a change?

Traveling is always a endurance race for me… I don’t really like flying, actually the term I would use is I loathe flying. And in my book loathing is one step above sheer contempt. My biggest problem with flying is my lack of control over the situation. You know I’m driving in my truck if I choose to run in into the median and cut over 6 lanes of traffic that is my thing. If the pilot decides to take us to the scene of the crash before the paramedics show up that’s not cool. And as always when I fly I have to ask the following question. If the seats turn into flotation devices how come the plane doesn’t turn into a boat!

Other random observations from my travels… BSOD on a pay phone (that’s a first for me) and people literally kicking their luggage down the aisle at security. I dislike my luggage but I don’t kick it through security dislike it. I only check my bags in at the counter dislike my luggage. And the only reason I did that was because I don’t have a printer at home to print out my boarding pass.

Anyway flying from Phoenix to Milwaukee is much like flying from Las Vegas to Milwaukee. Not eventful at all, however the two hour time difference is kind of screwing with me… I had a cup of coffee and a bagel for breakfast at the airport. That was at 7am Arizona time… the next thing I had to eat was a brownie that Kristina made at 3pm (5pm WI time) (thanks again Kristina).

So on the hunt for sustanance I decided to check out the mall that is across the street from the hotel. I don’t remember if it was Cody or someone else but I’m going to chalk this on up to Cody. “When I’m in someplace new I always try to eat at someplace local and avoid the big national restaurant’s” I’m in WI I’m going to do like the locals at the mall…. well if the mall is like a mall in Phoenix that is what I got. Ok the mall was a no go. Well there is a bar in the hotel that has a full dinner menu I will check it out. Really all I want is a beer and a burger. So I belly up to the bar order my dinner and have one of the better fruity ales that I’ve had in a long while (it’s called “Spotted Cow” look to the beer blog for additional information).

I’m sitting there drinking my beer eating my burger watching ESPN on the bar TV thinking to myself how many nights has Cody done something like this. I start thinking about it more and more and decide. Cody has a much better go at it now.

Other things I have learned… I now understand why Cody likes his Marriott so much. And HBO on the road is a nice perk since I’m to cheap to pay for it at home.